Returning to the EEUU

After a week of rest and reunion, I jumped into summer with a mighty splash of desire to escape from the inevitable boredom I would soon be facing. Two jobs, a class and a soccer team later, I surprisingly have time to sit here and write after too much time spent thinking. The first couple weeks home from Quito were pretty difficult and I suppose that I'm still struggling to deal with many of those issues a month and a half later. It's hard to put my feelings into words and I know that on my previous blogs I've put a lot of energy into avoiding all emotion; but I think it's time to make a change in that style and I couldn't think of a better way than to post a little sample of my diary.

6-24-08

... I miss Ecuador already!

7-07-08

I remember that when I wrote that last sentence I was completely lying. I was excited to go home and my heart wasn’t in Ecuador anymore. The last couple weeks have been really hard. I’m not experiencing culture shock, because everything in Eugene is as I thought it would be. I guess I just miss Ecuador. More than Ecuador, I miss the feeling I had while I was there and the feeling that I’ll never be able to get back. I miss the friends I had, my apartment, Guápulo, the walk to work and the drive to Mariscal. Those nine months were the best of my life. Working in Quito, waking up to the sun rising over the hills in Guápulo, making breakfast with those guys and then running errands at the market. Talking for hours and hours with Maureen, Katy and Julie at Pipa. Traveling with Julie to as many places as possible in the time we were allotted. I can never have that time back and that’s the hardest reality to face. I don’t think I’ve truly accepted it yet. I can’t make myself believe that all those people aren’t still living in that happy world and that I’m just not apart of it anymore. I’m scared that I’ll never be as happy as I was. 

Today:

I remember that when I returned from Peru to Quito with only a couple days before my flight home, the city felt like an empty shell. Before leaving for Peru I had already said goodbye to my life as it was. I stopped my internship, moved out of my apartment and had seen off several friends. During my final days I chose to think about Eugene instead of to embrace my final hours and I regret that decision. I know that some of my thoughts about Quito and things that I have written may seem irrational and dramatic. I know that I’ll be happy again in the way that I was and I know that I still have a lot of my life stretched out before me, but it’s important to acknowledge my fears in order to make a change. In the words of my dad, “you have to know real sadness in order to experience true happiness”. 

Special thanks to Mike, Sam, Julie, Maureen, Katy, Nathan, Kyle, Erica, Jaleh, Michelle, Quena, Averina, Pablo, Azanaw, Bastian, Rachel and Britney for making my experience so unforgettable. 

I've posted some pictures from my trip to Peru (Lima, Sacred Valley, Machu Picchu, Huacachina)

A la pura vida.

Pisco Sours!!

View of the Lima coast from our paragliding perspecive. 

Sacred Valley : )

Maccu Picchu!!!!

Huacachina Oasis. 

Break before sand-boarding.